Wildfire, you either walk into that other corral
or I'm going to shoot you and drag your carcass in there.
Come on, Wildfire. Come on, boy.
Let's go meet Susie now. You'll like her.
You two gotta get together.
Got you!
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa, boy. Whoa! Whoa!
Damn it.
Now you and Susie are going to make me some little birds
or I'm gonna take some barbecue sauce to both of you.
Earl Bassett, right?
I told you that's the other one.
Sefior Bassett.
This is beautiful country, but very isolated.
I had great difficulty finding you, but I'm glad I did.
You see,
we have had to close down one of Mexico's biggest oil fields.
Several workers have been killed.
We have now determined
that the men were killed by
certain large underground animals.
Graboids.
Ah! I told you that's what they named them.
Excuse me.
You mean, there's more of them?
Yes.
The company is facing very expensive delays.
But more importantly, there are many
isolated people who live in the region.
Many lives are in danger.
We need someone, an expert,
to eliminate these creatures.
You want somebody to go graboid hunting?
Si.
Sefior, please!
Please, we have already spoken to your partner, sefior McKee.
He is unwilling to help us.
Sure, Val married a good woman. Why would he want to die?
Of course, we are willing to pay.
Of course, they're willing to pay!
Okay.
Fifty thousand.
Go away.
No, no, no.
He wants to pay you 50,000 for each graboid.
Look.
No way.
Not for any amount of money.
But for you, getting those worms would be a piece of cake.
Who are you? And why are you so dumb?
Oh. Grady, Grady. Grady Hoover.
It's an honor to meet you, Mr. Bassett, sir.
I'm probably your biggest fan.
That Reebok commercial with you guys running through the desert.
So very cool.
You like that, huh?
Oh, yeah.
Listen, could I come in?
I mean, just for a second.
All right.
Great.
Thanks.
The Earl Bassett.
Oh!
Yep. I've read every one of these.
I got two copies of this one.
I keep one wrapped in plastic.
Oh, my God, you got your own one of these!
I bet you made a fortune off this.
Quarter, quarter, quarter, quarter.
Well, somebody did. It sure wasn't me.
Well, you must have got a percentage.
I should have got a lawyer.
Wow.
That sucks.
Did he really say 50,000?
Stack of Bibles.
Forget it.
You boys don't know how mean these things are.
VVeH, okay, but...
That was my big chance.
Yeah, but Mr. Bassett...
You only get one of those in life,
and I blew it
on goddamn Big Bird and his scrawny girlfriend!
Yeah, but 50,000.
Guess what she's doing there.
Who?
Ooh.
"Miss October, 1974"?
Yeah. She's there to remind me not to keep
chasing after things I'm never going to get.
But why wouldn't you get this?
Earl, Mr. Bassett.
You're the expert. You guys kicked ass with those things.
And this time, you'll be a step ahead of them.
He said the Mexican army is willing to give you whatever you want.
Dynamite.
Whaa-bam! Fifty G's!
Maybe this is your big second chance.
Sefior Ortega. You've got a deal.
Bravo! Bravo!
And I'm going with him.
Muy bien! Muy bien!
If you'll excuse me.
What?
Why do you think I drove all this way?
When he said he was looking for the Earl Bassett,
I knew opportunity was knocking, and for once I was home.
I don't even know you.
I drive a taxi, I live in a crappy apartment,
I watch too much TV, et cetera, et cetera.
Look, you're going to need a partner.
And how many people do you know
who would actually want to do something like this?
I'll do anything you want. Carry luggage, make coffee,
Hghtfuses.
Well, maybe you will come in handy.
Ha!
When they are eating you, it will give me a chance to get away.
Uh-oh. Who gets the last soda?
One, two...
What?
Scissors, rock, paper.
One, two, three!
What's this?
Scissors cuts paper.
Iwin.
Um...
Welcome. Welcome, gentlemen. You made good time.
Sooner we get here, the sooner we can leave.
This is Pedro, the company's chief engineer.
Mucho gusto.
I have all your equipment over here.
Oh. By the way, Wave some good news.
We are prepared to offer you double the price,
if you are able to capture one of the animals alive.
Double? Alive?
Have you ever seen one of these things?
It is only a suggestion.
If it was possible to capture one of them.
No, now, you never know. Earl, you never know.
Yes, I do.
I never should have come down here.
The army has sent everything you requested.
You have asked for some, uh,
unusual things.
Earl, please check this out.
Look, this isn't some kind of party.
I know that.
I just think we should show a little enthusiasm here.
Let me introduce you to Kate Riley. Hi.
She is the geologist for the oil company.
And these are the men...
I know, I know. The monster hunters.
I saw you on Good Morning, America.
Or one of those.
Yeah, this is
the Earl Bassett, the one and only.
That's right. Nice to meet you.
Really nice to meet you.
I'm Grady Hoover, the new guy.
Nice hat. Thanks.
Gentlemen, I hope to hear some good news soon.
Miss Riley will stay in contact with me.
Let us know anything else you need and...
Well, best of luck to you.
So, this is the place.
I'll show you around. Are you thirsty or anything, you guys?
Yeah, as a matter of fact, I am.
Anyway, we've been pretty nervous down here.
Glad you guys were willing to come all this way.
Yeah. It sure is in the middle of nowhere.
Well, of course. Stuff like this
only happens in the middle of nowhere.
Hey, Julio.
Hey, Kate. So?
It's all done. They're all working. Yes! Yes!
Guys, this is Julio. He's been setting up
the seismographs they talked to you about.
Earl, Grady. Oh, yes.
Yes, I've seen you in the magazines.
Oh, actually, I'm not the original guy.
You know, you must have made a lot of money, huh?
The royalties on that video game alone! Ooh!
Julio, we should be able to get an accurate count now, right?
Yes, yes. You know, I have a friend
who invested in that company.
Hey.
Oh, hi.
Come on in.
So...
We were gonna look over some maps?
Right.
Coffee?
Yeah, black.
How were those burritos, anyway?
Um...
Good, good.
Yeah, sorry about that.
Pretty bad, I know. But with the cook gone, that is the best we've got.
So, uh,
how many of you are still working out here?
Only the three of us. They had to shut the whole operation down.
Six people got killed.
People I knew.
Oh, well...
How come you stayed on?
You're not scared?
Shit, yeah. I'm scared.
But I'm also fascinated. It's...
With me, fascinated usually wins.
Maps.
I'll get these cores out of the way. Come on, baby.
So...
Have the graboids come near the refinery yet?
No, so far they've left us alone.
They stay about 20 miles north.
That's where the workers were killed.
Who named them graboids, anyway?
A friend of ours, Walter Chang.
He named them, then they ate him.
Hey, guys, look what I made.
Just, you know, drag it behind the truck.
Make, you know, make more noise.
You see, graboids hunt by sound.
I'll probably just go hook that to the back of the truck.
Moonstrose.
Si.
Mr. Hoover, come here please.
I have the monitor working.
Okay.
We've set up radio seismographs all over the place,
so the monitor will show you where the graboids are.
Cool.
You know, this is none of my business, I guess.
But you guys are going out there alone?
You don't want to take with you, like,
the whole army of Mexico?
Let me explain something to you, Julio.
Graboids, they got no eyes. They hunt by sound.
Now you make a noise, even a little footstep
they are gonna come after you.
Now we get a bunch of people running around...
Graboids gonna spread out all over the place.
No, we want them all to come to us.
So you guys are what?
You guys are the bait?
That is the plan.
Okay. So,
that's us. That's our truck.
Seems like everything's working okay.
Sure it is, Earl. This is a high-tech, professional operation here.
Hey, we got a good plan going. Fifty thousand apiece, baby.
Ho! You know, I'm going to get mine all at once, just stacked!
Well, if I make any money this time,
I'll invest it conservatively.
Hey, you shaved.
What?
No, I just... I just noticed you, you know, shaved.
So what? A man can shave, can't he?
No, you're right.
She's a babe.
Well...
Here is where they are supposed to be.
Man, look at that country, huh?
Yeah.
Not a lot of rocks and boulders out there.
Not much to climb on if we don't want to get slurped.
There's mountains all around.
You said they can't get through mountains.
I said they can't go through rock!
These hills are alluvial.
Oh. "Alluvial."
Wait a minute. That's the little dingleberry
in the back of your throat, right?
You want to hunt graboids, you better know geology.
Here, you drive. I'm keeping my eye on this seismo-jigger.
Ooh. Good call.
No offense, Earl, but you're nervous as a Chihuahua.
I'm not nervous. I'm alert.
Whatever.
Those worms have to be deaf if they don't hear us.
Hey, take it easy, huh?
Whoo! Jesus! Grady, we got one!
It spotted us! It is coming right toward us.
Well, that's the idea.
Yeah, I know thafstheidea.
Doesn't mean I have to like it. Now stop.
Stop already, will you?
Okay, time for the secret weapon.
Careful with that detonator.
Set it like I showed you.
How dumb do you think I am?
Catch me later on that one.
He's coming in. I think he's following it.
Of course he is.
I can't see it, Earl.
Earl, I can't see it. Left. Left.
Left! Okay! Okay!
Wait. Wait, there.
He did it. He took it.
Okay. Hit it! Hit it! Get him!
Oh, shit. What are you doing? Hit it!
Hit it! Hit it! Hit it! Hit it, Earl.
Fifty G's, baby! Fifty G's!
Oh, shit!
Told you.
I forgot.
Man, this stuff really stinks.
Yeah, don't forget to get that antenna, too.
You left the radio on the ground?
Sorry, I forgot.
Is that a coyote?
Yup.
Man, he better keep quiet.
Yup.
He took it.
Hey, it's my turn.
No, come on, Earl. Let me get one more.
Shit.
Rock breaks scissors. I win.
Itdoes?
I told you one stick would be enough.
You're right.
That makes 300,000. Apiece.
I'm feeling light-headed, Earl.
What are you gonna do with all your money?
Invest it.
Yeah, of course, invest it, but...
Even at 5%, I'll be doing good.
5%?
You're talking mutual funds or CDs or something?
That's right.
That's small, Earl. You're thinking small.
See, I'm thinking big, okay?
I'm thinking theme park.
Now, "Grady Hoover's World of Natural Wonders."
Whoa.
Or, you know, maybe something simple.
Like "Monster World."
Or "Monsterland."
Or "Worm World."
How about "Loony World"? Seems to fit.
Get off the ground!
It's vision, Earl.
Vision is what separates the average...
I know that song.
Jesus!
Get off the ground, Grady! Get off the ground!
Whoa!
Jesus, man, those things are huge!
Be quiet!
Did you see that mouth?
Oh, no.
It snagged the chain.
Can it do that?
It can't be that strong.
Son of a bitch!
Hit the brakes! I am! I did!
It doesn't work!
Earl, what do I do?
I don't know. Do anything!
Oh!
Cliff!
Oh, no.
He stopped. He stopped.
Oh, shit.
Oh, come on.
Rock!
He's going under it!
Turn! Turn the wheel!
Turn!
I'm trying! I'm trying!
Oh, God. Oh, God.
I'm all right.
You all right? Wow. Chain broke right off.
Jesus, we're lucky.
Well, truck seems to be all right.
Earl.
That's gonna be the first ride in my theme park.
Doesn't anything ever get you down?
Well, I'm blessed with a sunny disposition.
Most people see to like it.
Oh, yeah.
What does this do for your disposition?
I think we're gonna need some help.
Help? Who'd be crazy enough
to wanna help us with this mess?
The big guns pounded enemy positions for 72 straight hours.
It was the deadliest bombardment of the siege.
Yeah?
Hey, Burt. It's Earl.
How are you doing?
Listen, um,
this sounds kind of funny because I'm on a radio phone.
It's the only way we can call out of this place.
Earl?
Oh, Earl!
Haven't seen you in a while.
Well, I haven't seen you.
Guess you've been laying kind of low, huh?
Laying low?
No. Negative.
I've been real busy. Lots of projects.
So, how you and Heather doing?
Well, she, uh...
She's still visiting her sister.
Yeah?
You know, she actually blames our problems
on the collapse of the Soviet Union?
Well, you did take that kind of hard, Burt.
Said I was too hard to live with.
Said I couldn't handle life without the threat of global war.
What kind of thing is that to say to a man?
Well, I don't know, Burt. I guess it...
Anyway, it takes more than that to get me down.
I've been running around so much,
it's lucky you caught me at home.
Well then, in that case,
I don't know if you would be interested in this.
I'm down in Mexico, see.
And I find myself in a sort of situation.
What kind of situation?
A graboid kind of situation.
Hey, you keeping an eye on that monitor?
Yeah, I'm watching it. They're just staying up north.
Oh, my God!
What?
Sorry. Come here.
Come here. Look at this.
I've been staring at this fossil for over a month,
and I just realized what it is.
Hey, Earl, that looks like one of those spikes on their sides.
Okay, it resembles one.
I think it is. I really think it is
a fossil fragment of a graboid.
Now, I know it's gonna take months of testing to prove this. But I...
Now, this is important, isn't it?
Science has never determined their origin.
I read that in People.
And that's true.
But that's not the only thing.
You guys, this is Precambrian rock.
Precambrian.
That means that this is
the oldest life form on the planet.
I mean, other than, you know, one-celled things. But look at that.
Wait a minute, now. Older than dinosaurs?
W33'-
So they're from Earth, right? Yeah.
Damn. I always thought they were from outer space.
Doesn't look like it.
Look at the size of that! Look!
It ain't no graboid.
It's something more dangerous.
Monster HQ, I presume.
Hey, Burt. Good to see you. Earl, good to see you.
This is Kate, Pedro. Kate. Pedro.
JuHo, and“. The pleasure is mine.
Grady, Grady, Grady Hoover.
Yeah, I read all about you, Mr. Gummer.
Yeah, it's a real honor.
Yes.
Man, you think you got a big enough truck here?
Is he the new guy?
So, did you get me one of those seismo-monitors?
Hey, no problem.
Hey, what the hell you got in this thing, anyway?
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Don't touch. Don't touch. Easy.
Mexican army gave me this truck
and a few little items on my wish list.
Ho!
It's, uh, a bit much, don't you think?
Maybe I'm wrong.
Hope I'm right.
Makes my homemade stuff look like cherry bombs.
Thermite, C-4, TNT, high-explosive, H.E.
ls there such thing as low-explosive?
VVeH, yes, son.
There is. I mean, the federales offer you anything you want
and you guys take one case of dynamite?
What the hell is this thing for?
That might end up in my collection.
Hey! Got some new equipment for you, gentlemen.
Your backup weapons.
Can you handle a firearm?
I'll check him out.
Shotguns?
We're not hunting rabbits down here, Burt.
Not shotguns. Double rifles. Elephant guns.
Wesley-Richards 480,
375 H & H mag.
Cockdown power up the yin-yang. Treat them well.
But hold them good and tight to your shoulder,
or they'll break your collarbone.
So where is Mrs. Gummer? She didn't want to come?
Why don't you get this stuff in our truck?
Sure, no problem.
Look, man.
I really want to thank you for coming down.
We're in pretty deep here.
Oh, forget it, Earl.
To tell you the truth
if I didn't get out of that house
and do something, I was going to go crazy.
Heather's not coming back.
No?
She called me and told me to send her the HK91.
Ouch.
Yeah.
So...
Anyway,
it'll be good to get into something constructive.
Oh, my. What is this?
Grizzly single-shot 50-caliber BMG,
based on a World War I anti-tank cartridge.
Anti-tank?
Had the bullets custom cast from solid bronze.
Man, Burt. You put a whole new shine on the word "overkill."
When you need it and don't have it,
you'll sing a different tune.
Well, this is it, Burt.
Okay. I'll patrol east. You take the west.
You know, those are terrible for you.
You need complex carbohydrates. Lower those LDLs.
I already gave up smoking, Burt. What more do you want?
Have an MRE.
A what?
Meals Ready to Eat.
Freeze-dried, foil sealed.
It's got to be foil. Plastic is not an oxygen barrier.
Includes entree, cracker pack, cheese spread
mixed fruit, beverage powder, spoon, cofiee,
cream substitute, candy, salt, matches, toilet tissue.
Shelf life of 10 years.
Here, take a few.
I buy them all the time. Saves trips to the supermarket.
Oh, no, Burt. We don't want to use up all your food.
No problem.
Brought 120 pounds of it.
Good luck, compadres.
Oh, man, this stuff tastes like toilet paper.
That is the toilet paper.
14 May.
1500 hours.
I have a confirmed graboid reading.
I'm now employing the technique pioneered by Earl Bassett
to make my first kill.
Subject has taken the bait.
Preparing to fire.
Memo.
Four pounds of C-4 may be a little
excessive.
Yo! Grady and Earl.
I got one. Over.
Yeah, we know, Burt. We heard it clear over here.
Damnedest thing, too. It had a big chain hanging out of its mouth.
Damn it.
Burt, you skunk, that one was ours.
Oh, yeah, son? I didn't see your name on it. Over and out.
Why did we invite him, anyway?
Hey! Pay attention.
Whoa. We got one.
Wait a minute.
It's moving away from us.
It must be something else.
Like what? A giant prairie dog?
Well, shit, I don't know, Earl. It's moving away from us.
Should we follow it?
What the hell is the matter with him?
We're making plenty of noise.
I don't like it, Grady. They are getting smarter. That's what they do.
They got some kind of plan going here.
I tell you,
these boys are up to something new.
They're digging a trap for us,
0F Playing possum.
Or something.
Holy mother!
Oh, man! Oh, no!
Shit, how could I do that?
I've got to get to Burt's gun!
Whoa.
Where is he? He should be all over us.
I don't know.
What is that? Can they do that?
That's a new one on me.
Jesus, Grady. What are you doing? Get off the ground!
I know, I know.
I've got an idea. Trust me.
Damn it, Grady. Come on back!
Earl, he's still there.
What the hell is it doing?
I have no idea.
Something is wrong with him.
Must be sick.
Probably ate somebody that didn't agree with it.
Jesus, Grady.
It's okay, Earl.
He's not going anywhere.
Hey.
We just caught ourselves a live one.
That's $100,000, Earl.
Oh, yes!
Oh, yeah? What are you going to do, carry him back?
We just wrecked the truck.
Oh, yeah.
Hello, this is Earl to anybody.
Anybody there?
Hey, Earl, it's Kate. How are you guys doing?
Well...
We kind of wrecked our truck a little bit.
You what? Are you okay?
Yeah. We're fine.
We are gonna need somebody to come out and fetch us, though.
Let me talk to her. Just for a second.
Look, would you tell Pedro to bring
that big old truck of his out here?
It's got a crane on it, doesn't it?
Yeah. Whoo-hoo!
It's going to take him hours to get there. Whoo!
Tell him to bring it out here because...
We're going winch that slinky on board
and haul his ass off to Monster World.
Will you shut up, and get off the damn ground!
I'm off. I'm off.
Jesus!
Damn it, he got himself another one.
The man never sleeps.
Guys, Burt here.
Doing a little night-fishing.
Got three of them on a cluster charge.
I'd say we're about even now. Over.
Come on, Burt. This isn't a competition.
Who's competing?
I'm just saying the score's tied, that's all. Over.
Well, son, no, it isn't.
'Cause we just caught ourselves a live one. How about that?
Alive one? How in the...
Well, that's just a little trade secret. Happy hunting, Burt.
I'll bet that burnt his skinny ass.
God almighty!
Something's wrong with our worm, Earl.
Well, what do you want me to do about it?
Maybe something's trying to eat it out there. Coyotes or something, huh.
Well, they'll have plenty to eat, won't they?
Come on, Earl. We have got to protect
our investment here. We can't just sit here.
Jesus, listen to it!
Poor thing. Well, don't you just feel a little sorry for him?
No.
That's cold, Earl.
Where's that Pedro and that damn truck?
Something ate it!
In two minutes?
Well, something happened to it,
because there is nothing left inside.
Something came out of it.
What do you mean, something came out of it?
Yeah, it did that thing that things do when they change, you know.
There's a word for it.
It turned into something else, like a caterpillar does.
Only I bet that whatever came out
wasn't no sweet little butterfly.
Damn worms never cut you any slack.
I said, I think you all ought to head out to Rio Verde.
Clear out until we know what's going on. Over.
Kate, did you get any of that? Over.
Shit! Now what?
The radio's out. How could that be? I was just talking to her.
Oh, man! You know what that is, don't you?
Yeah. Another one's doing it.
There! There's Pedro!
About damn time.
He stopped. He stopped?
Maybe he's taking a leak?
That's a long leak.
Hey, Pedro! Pedro!
Well, maybe we should go over and see what's wrong.
Go over? You mean, walk a mile across open country?
I'm not going six feet from that seismo.
Come on. There's no graboids anywhere near us right now.
Now I say we go while the going's good.
You know, you could carry some of this stuff.
I got what I want.
Well,
I can't say this looks good.
Pedro?
Hey, Pedro!
Man!
This brings back memories.
Jesus! Looks like somebody took a can opener to the thing.
Oh, man, look at that engine. It's torn to pieces.
Pedro!
Damn it! Where are you?
Hey, there he is!
Pedro?
Oh, God!
It's a whole new ball game.
A whole new goddamn ball game.
Well, you know what to do, right?
Right?
I don't know shit!
Okay! Okay!
We can hike over to that radio tower.
They have got to have a radio that's working.
We can call direct.
14 May. 1900 hours.
I've been out of radio contact for several hours
unable to reach Grady and Earl or anybody at HQ.
The situation dictates that I return to base.
A further mystery.
I haven't had a single seismic reading in hours.
Yet I tracked one of the sightless brutes right into this valley.
Where the hell did he go?
They do get smarter.
Is it possible he learnt to avoid the unique sound
of my deuce-and-a-half's mil-spec engine?
I do not have the answer at this time.
No, no, no. Don't tell me that's the radio stuff.
I can't believe this.
Oh, man.
Can't we ever get a goddamn break?
If we get out of here alive, I'll count that as a break.
I mean, there wasn't even any people here to eat.
They're doing this on purpose, man.
They're cutting us off on purpose!
Quiet. Quiet.
I told you they get smarter.
Hey, look.
Oh, yes! Yes!
It's not going to have a key.
So I'll hot-wire the damn thing.
I like that.
Grady. Grady.
What is that?
I don't know, but it's coming this way.
Jesus! How big is this thing?
What the hell is that?
Is that it?
Sure ain't no damn ostrich.
How does a 30-foot worm turn into that little thing?
It might hear us.
Shit! It heard us.
Wait.
We got it!
Ugly little toad.
No eyes.
Wow. Just like the big ones.
Earl, man.
We ought to take this one with us.
You crazy? What?
Sounds like a bunch of them!
Come on, man! Let's go! Let's go!
I'm trying! I'm trying!
Let's go!
Pedro. Can you hear me?
Earl, come on! Talk to me.
Burt? Anybody?
God! What the hell is going on?
Oh, man.
Hey.
Julio, man you scared me half to death!
Sorry.
Shit. You know the radios, they're out.
No, I know. I know that.
That's what I've been doing here.
I think the repeater towers are down or something.
How can that be?
I don't know. I don't know.
Something coming our way?
No! The creatures have completely disappeared off the screen.
It's weird.
Well, if the radios are all out,
shouldn't everybody come back?
Yeah, everybody should have been here a long time ago.
I don't like this. This is not good.
Okay. Okay, stay here with the seismos.
And then I'm going to go to look for them right now.
Okay, but...
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God.
No!
Get him! Get him!
Bastards!
Kate!
What are they? What are they?
We don't know. The worms changed somehow.
Now we've got these things.
Julio! Julio! They...
I know. I know.
We got them, though. We just blew them away!
Pedro! Did Pedro find you?
No. Theyjumped his truck. He's dead, too.
Have you seen Burt? Did he get back?
No.
I tried to call him, I tried to call you. The radio...
Excuse me. But I think we should get going.
You okay? Yeah?
Yeah.
Oh, no! Not again!
They wrecked our car, Pedro's truck, the radio tower.
How can they be so smart?
Let's get our butts inside.
I mean, what the hell are we going to do?
Let's get these windows shut!
It's like they got the whole thing planned.
Grady, Grady. Come on! All right. All right.
How many of them do you think there are?
All right, I remember, I remember.
There was three big sacks or bags
in that one we saw split open, huh, Earl?
Can't be more than three of those things in each worm.
Yeah, that's right, I guess.
Kate, how many big worms were left out there?
You killed all but eight graboids. I was watching.
So if all eight of them changed, that would make...
Twenty-four! Twenty-four of those things left!
How many have you killed?
Let's see.
We killed one on the radio tower and one out there
and one on top of the car.
That's it?
Well, I'm sorry.
No. It's just that... I mean...
Oh, man, now what?
Thank God. It's Burt.
Yes! They didn't get him.
I think they did get him.
Burt!
Burt?
You Okay?
Burt?
I feel I was denied
critical, need-to-know information.
Well, we're sorry, Burt.
I mean, they just changed all of a sudden, man.
We would've warned you, but they knocked out the radio tower.
Come on, Burt. What happened?
Well, when the radios went out,
I decided to return to the refinery.
But en route, I find I'm in an ambush situation.
Must have been a couple of dozen of these things!
I dropped the first wave with semi-auto fire, but they just kept coming.
Sheer luck, most of them were in front of the truck,
so I popped it in six-wheel and ran them down.
Ones that got on board, I handled with a combination of small arms fire
and hand-to-hand techniques.
I am completely out of ammo.
That's never happened to me before.
Shit! Who cares, Burt?
Sounds like you killed them all, huh?
I hope not. These creatures are very important.
You know, I mean scientifically.
That fact was not lost on me.
When it was all over, I saw one of the little SOBs was just stunned.
So I detained him.
Oh, man, it's drooling.
Don't let him spook you.
That line is 1,000-pound test.
Go on. Haul him out of there.
Hold on to that son of a bitch!
I'll get the door.
I knew it. Infrared.
It doesn't hear us, it doesn't actually see us.
It senses the heat of our bodies.
See that? The thing that rises up must be the heat sensor.
You feel that? Gives off a lot of heat when it screams.
That's it.
I bet that's the way they communicate.
The sound doesn't matter. I mean, they make noise,
but they signal each other with their body heat.
It only sees heat?
Yes, that's not so weird.
A rattlesnake strikes at body heat.
That's why they tore up the cars,
because the engines were hot. They thought it was food.
Same thing with the radio tower.
That electronic gear puts off all kinds of heat.
So basically, they bite anything that's warm.
You mean, they've been acting so smart because they're so stupid?
Now, that's not warm. How does he know to eat that?
It tastes it with its tongue.
See how he's dragging his tongue all over?
If he touches anything he likes,
he eats it.
How much can it eat? Those MREs aren't cheap, you know.
Looks like he's had enough.
You're feeding it too much! You made it sick.
Give me a break. Probably your nasty food made it sick.
Oh, good God!
Hermaphrodites.
They reproduce without having sex.
I claim the little one.
Hey, wait a minute. It was my food!
Whenever one of them gets enough food, they just...
And there's another one.
And then one makes two, two makes four,
four makes eight. It's exponential.
Well, hell. That gives them quite an edge.
You never see this in higher animals. Ever! It's astounding.
Don't you guys get it?
Oh, we get it. We just don't want it.
I think the little one's getting big already.
I think we better think about leaving.
These guys have taken a completely different evolutionary path.
They got into your damn super-food, Burt!
Let's go. Come on.
The warehouse! We'd better close the warehouse!
This 1 Grady! No! Way
No! Not that way! Grady!
Grady! Damn it!
All right!
This isn't gonna work.
Shit!
They stopped.
They're just milling around.
Looks like they lost track of us.
Yeah, but that's not going to last.
We're like sitting ducks here!
Well, I'm sorry. It looked like a goddamn building to me!
Well, why didn't you listen to me?
Come on. These little snappers are blind and deaf.
We've got to be able to beat them.
I told you, they can't see us.
Great. Now what?
Now move with me.
Move?
It's gonna work, damn it. Now move!
And step, and step, and step.
I don't know how you come up with this shit.
I think on my feet.
Come on! It's working.
Coming at you.
Okay. All right.
And down.
So,
where are we going?
Are there any more cars left?
Yeah. One. Julio's. It's by the storage tank.
Which way?
Left. Move left.
Okay. Ready and moving left.
And step, and step,
and step, and step, and step.
Okay, it's not much further.
Oh!
God damn it! There's one of them out there! Shit.
Did it see you? I don't know.
Well, if it had, I think we'd be hearing about it by now.
How far is it?
Hundred yards, about.
That's a heck of a shot.
Mmm-hmm.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You only got one shot?
Then you've got to hit it, man.
Before it sends one of those heat signals to the others.
I know.
Cover your ears.
Jesus.
You smoked his ass.
Doing what I can with what I got.
Good.
Holy shit, Burt.
Oh, no. Pop the hood.
I got it. I got it.
Damn!
We're dead.
What?
I didn't know. How could I have known?
We're supposed to be up against graboids.
I wanted maximum penetration.
- Well, you've got it. - Now what?
We can't stay here. We've got to get inside.
Canflna!
Damn!
Burt?
Uh-oh.
Burt!
Oh, no! Burt!
No! Burt! It's working. They can't find you. Don't move.
Good! Good idea.
Now, this is pathetic!
Waita minute! I've got a plan, I think!
Earl. Earl!
Yeah, I know. I know. I just need another second.
Oh! Oh! Shit!
Oh!
That's great!
Here. Here, here.
Get ready to run.
We're going to head for those oil towers and climb.
Yes! Earl, you're a genius.
Come on! It's clear. Hurry.
Go.
You're okay. They can't climb.
Watch your step. Oh, God. Oh, man.
They can't climb.
Pretty slick, my man.
Slick? Man, that was brilliant.
God, you really do think on your feet, don't you?
Yeah, well...
Hey, where's Burt? Oh. Over here.
And don't worry, they can't even find him in there.
Oh, man.
I think he's going to be okay for now.
Oh, I'm just dandy!
So what do we do now?
Hey, Burt.
Are you sure you don't have any more bullets?
Did you check all your pockets?
You know,
as I lie here, I can't help but comment.
The reason I'm out of nine millimeter rounds
is I was not properly briefed.
And the reason for that is this mission was not properly researched.
If certain people had bothered
to gather intelligence on the creatures
before bumbling into the situation...
Knock it off, Burt! Nobody made you come.
When we should've been packing
full-auto, preferably belt-fed!
Shut up!
They're Precambrian life-forms, Burt.
How's anybody supposed to research Precambrian life-forms?
What difference does it make now?
We're stuck on a goddamn roof
with a bunch of whatsits trying to eat us.
I mean, I've done this before and I did not like it.
Oh. Oh, okay. Now it's all my fault!
So, things didn't work out exactly the way we planned.
If I had the right tools, I'd finish the job!
Please! Would you just all relax?
Now, look. Nobody's heard from us since last night.
Which means that pretty soon they're going to be up here looking for us, right?
So all we have to do is sit and wait. Okay?
Burt!
Okay.
So I figured I wanted to learn some Spanish
and six months in Mexico would be an adventure, you know.
So, uh...
Seeing anybody?
Not since the monsters arrived.
Well, you know.
You spend a couple of days almost getting killed,
you start thinking about your future and...
Thinking you should date more?
Well, uh,
yeah, actually.
Look.
I just don't meet that many women who can keep their cool,
you know, in a situation like this.
What I mean is that, um,
all that matters to me is that a woman can handle herself.
It's more important than what she looks like.
Thanks a lot.
Oh, come on. You look great.
Enough guys have told you that, huh?
Yeah, well.
Believe it or not, I made my living
as a model once upon a time.
I put myself through college.
Ibeheveit
I was a...
I was even a playmate once.
About gave my dad a heart attack.
What?
October, '74?
Shit!
Yup.
Guys. Guys!
Oh, my God. Look at that.
Goddamn little heat-seekers.
What do we do, Earl?
You gotta stop asking me that! I don't know!
What's going on?
What's happening?
Uh-oh.
Smart little bastards.
Whoa.
Come get me, you suckers! You hungry? 185 pounds of lean meat.
What are you doing? You know you want it!
Burt!
What is wrong with him?
Has he got a plan?
Burt's always got a plan,
usuaHy.
Yes!
Problem solved.
Nice going, you maniac!
Whoo! Burt, you did it!
You tricked the little plug uglies!
How's it feel to be so stupid?
Wh00!
Oh, Christ! Did they find something to eat?
What's in there, Kate?
I don't know, boxes and supplies.
Sweet! Golosinas. I know this one. Snack.
Sweet snack food? Sweet snack food?
Rice flour.
I didn't know! How could I have known?
God, don't they ever get tired of eating?
There will be a hundred of them.
Okay, we're going to run for it!
Where? What?
We're not going to make it!
Look! Earl, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I got you all into this.
Come on, Grady. We ain't dead yet.
Okay! Come on.
Okay, what? What, okay?
I've got a plan! Sort of.
You're going to squirt me with this.
That's great! CO2, it'll make you cold.
Right. They won't see me.
Says who?
No, no, no, they're right. It ought to work.
For how long?
We've got to try something!
But what is the point?
Look, if I can just get to your truck, I can grab some bombs.
Earl, this is nuts! Well, yeah, and...
Let me do it!
Don't be stupid. It was my idea!
No, I got you all into this.
It's my fault. I'm going in. Spray me.
We got to do it before they break out. Now, blast me!
Oh, Jesus!
Yes!
No! Rock rips through paper.
Huh? Lgo!
Give me that shirt. I need the gloves too. This stuff is cold.
You ready? Here goes.
Man, this stuff is cold!
Okay, here goes.
Lock this door behind me. Lock it?
Yeah. I'll get the bombs and go out the other door.
All right.
Soundsfike it's working.
I can't see anything. Over here.
Come here!
Holy tamole! There's dozens of them.
Good Lord.
Waita minute!
Paper wraps rock, doesn't it?
Paper always wraps rock.
Damn!
He's starting to melt!
Earl, you're melting! Step on it! Come on! Go! Go! Go!
Damn! They see him.
Rope! All right, we need rope or something.
Hang on, Earl!
A hose. There's a hose by the fire hydrant!
Here you go.
It's too short!
Did you hear me? The hose is too short.
Burt, hurry!
Heads up, Earl! Grab it! Come on!
Go! Run! Run! Go! Iseta bomb.
What?
It's the only thing I could think of.
Kate, what did he do?
Grady? Come on!
Where the hell are the bombs? I don't know.
I didn't have time. I just threw one in your truck.
You what?
That's two-and-a-half tons of high explosives, Earl!
You saying that's not enough?
Oh, God, Burt. Don't tell me it's not enough!
Not enough'?
Never mind. Never mind. Justrun!
Faster!
No! No, no! Keep going. It's going to be big. Big!
Is he serious?
Burt knows his bombs.
How big can it be?
How long did you set it for?
I don't know. I just pushed it.
God, it's going to be big. Big!
All right, this will have to do.
Get down, stay down, cover your ears.
It's going to be big!
Is it going to betoday?
Grady, get your ass down!
Hey, Grady! Grady!
Grady, you all right, man?
You Okay?
Yeah. Thanks.
Watch yourselves.
Phew!
Wow.
You know, Grady,
some people think I'm over-prepared.
Paranoid.
Maybe even a little crazy.
But they never met any Precambrian life-forms, did they?
Look, I don't mind hanging around down here for a while.
Going to have any free time?
Well, spend a couple days almost getting killed,
you start thinking about your future.
Thinking you should date more?
Well, yeah, actually.
Hey, Earl, I just realized they owe us for 28 worms, man.
Hey, that's right. That's right. We didn't die.
Although,
we did kind of blow up their refinery.
Hey, that's just part of the job.
In fact, we ought to charge them
for all those little ones, too.
On, yeah.
Hey, we'll have enough to start our own theme park.
"Grady and Earl's Monster World." Huh?
Hey. No way!
Come on, Earl.
This could be like your big, third chance.